


help, i've fallen and i can't get up

by oakleaf_bearer



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Crack, Fainting, Fluff, Other, the inherent intimacy of collapsing on your employees/friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:01:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27726539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oakleaf_bearer/pseuds/oakleaf_bearer
Summary: 'Five quid says he's about to collapse again'-a series of times that jon has fainted on someone
Relationships: Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist & Other(s)
Comments: 47
Kudos: 256





	help, i've fallen and i can't get up

A loud squeak in the break room pulled Tim's attention away from his computer. The article he'd been reading was dull anyway.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, it's just-" There was the sound of fabric moving and Martin lifted something. "Jon just fainted."

"Did he?" Tim shoved his chair back and crossed over to the break room door. Martin was stood in the centre of the room, knees buckling slightly as he clutched a limp Jon. Tim snorted. "Oh yeah, he does that sometimes. Let me guess, he made a noise just before he did it? Like he was about to throw up?"

"Wha- How did you- This is common?"

"You'd be surprised at how unhealthy he is." 

Martin made a small flustered noise. "You aren't concerned about this?" He flapped his hands slightly, jostling Jon's precarious position in his arm. Martin gripped him tighter. 

"He'll be fine. Let's just lie him down, he'll wake up soon." Tim grabbed Jon's legs and helped Martin carry him over to the sofa. They dropped him down on the lumpy cushions. Martin peeled off his own jumper and wadded it up, stuffing it behind Jon's head. 

"Should we call anyone?"

"Trust me, he'll just get more grumpy if he's sent home. Better to leave him be and see how he feels when he wakes up."

"You're sure?"

"This is Jon we are talking about. He cannot look after himself. Did you take him tea earlier?" Martin nodded. "I guarantee that's all he's drank today. He probably ate some terrible cheap porridge for breakfast and was planning to power through the afternoon and eat awful takeaway at midnight. He's been like this for years. Don't start trying to coddle him, it doesn't work, trust me on that."

"So we're just going to do nothing?" 

"Make him a cup of tea when he wakes up. I can sit with him if you want, just to keep an eye on him."

"I don't want him to think I just left him."

"If you stayed he'd probably shout about you wasting time instead of working. Go on, I'll babysit him." 

Martin hesitated. "If you're sure..."

"I'm sure."

-

Jon was groggy when he woke up, his head still spinning slightly. He groaned. 

"You gave Martin a fright."

Blearily, Jon blinked up at Tim's shadowy outline. "Christ, he saw, didn't he?" 

"He did." Tim chuckled. "He caught you."

"Oh god." Jon covered his face with his hands. "That's so unprofessional." 

"What, it would've been more professional if he had dropped you?"

Jon glared at Tim as best he could when he could quite see him. Someone had taken his glasses. "Fainting is unprofessional. I should be able to control myself better."

"Have you tried eating actual food?" 

"I don't need you babying me, Tim." Jon tried to roll into an upright position. His head swam and he clutched the edge of the sofa to stop himself collapsing again. 

"You sure about that, boss?" Tim gripped his shoulder. 

"Quite." Jon steeled himself, taking a deep breath. "Back to work, I think."

Tim looked like he wanted to argue, but he dropped it, letting go of Jon. "Just let us know if it happens again." 

"Of course." Jon lied. He stood, steadying himself against the table slightly, then marched out of the office. He stopped short when he saw Martin hunched over at his desk. 

"Ah, Martin." Jon cleared his throat. Martin looked up at him expectantly. "Tim says you- Well, you, ah, you caught me." 

"I did. Are you feeling any better?"

"I'm fine. No need to worry about me, it's passed."

"Good." Martin nodded. "I'm glad."

_Thank you_ , Jon's head screamed at him. _The man caught you, say thank you_.

"Yes, well, back to work."

"Right." 

Jon nodded, then shut his office door firmly. He leaned against it heavily, burying the feeling of mortification building in his stomach. 

"Idiot." He muttered to himself. "You complete and utter idiot."

Later, he returned from hunting down a statement in storage to find a cup of tea on his desk, along with two biscuits and a post it note reading ' _Look after yourself- MKB_ ' 

**Author's Note:**

> yes this is based off a single throwaway line in 189, no i will not explain my reasoning 
> 
> come find me [on insta](https://www.instagram.com/statement_boo_gins/) or [on tumblr](https://oakleaf--bearer.tumblr.com/)
> 
> comments and kudos keep me writing, pls leave some


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